How a Bush Whacker Turns 30

The first thing a bush whacker does in the process of turning 30 is freak out for a week before the fact about not being able to type 47 wpm. When the day arrives, however, the Bush Whacker celebrates in the following ways, some of which extend beyond the designated 24-hour period of "the day" itself):

1. By reminiscing about all the bushes she's whacked (othewise known as the "To all the Girls I've loved Before" moment").
2. By allowing She-Woman to take her to the gym and her have her way with her (three days running; three days stiffening).
3. By being geek enough to attend an academic talk that has nothing to do with either bush-whacking or turning 30.
4. By being geek enough to rearrange a date with the bush she's whacking, so she can go to said academic talk.
5. By having lunch in the European style (soup is not appetizer, but one of four courses--at lunch, remember. The Bush Whacker is amused, recalling that the only four-course lunches she has enjoyed in the past have included the lunch companion as one of the courses.)
6. By seeing The Quiet American with her aMMusing friend, the Queen of Sheba, and the Grand Poobah of Culinary Delights.
7. By slurping down oysters, an event she enoyed for the very first time (though the texture sure was familiar).
8. By talking excessively in the third person.