I'm getting worse than Maurice!

And I have no good excuse like a business trip to explain myself. I look at my blog and on all the little numbers that have not been highlighted in the last little while. I also don't have anything nearly as interesting as a story about getting stuck in a snowstorm to amuse you with upon my return.

So what's a bush to do?

I haven't been blogging because I've been preoccupied. With what? Well, with trying to decide how much of an asshole I am. Remember that bush I was whacking and the whole story about my refusal to go out in straight drag, etc? Well, ever since then, I've been avoiding her. Haven't seen her. Don't call her. Don't talk much when she calls me. I guess I'm just putting her off.

I'm much happier as a result. There's just always that last, tedious conversation to be had. I'm not preoccupied because I feel guilty about not wanting a relationship with her or because I should have gone out in straight drag or anything like that.

I feel guilty for feeling happy about avoiding the situation. I'd like to think it's more cosmically significant than that. Guilty for being happy when there's a war on, guilty for feeling reponsible for someone else's emotions. But no. It's guilt for putting myself at the centre of things for a while by going to the gym, cooking good food, indulging in my on-line flirtation.

Now how screwed up is that?

Posted by Bush Whacker at March 25, 2003 03:20 PM