The Burning Bush
thoughts from a cunning linguist

May 22, 2003

Blog-hopping and Lesbian Jokes

If you think my blog is rather sedate these days, it's because I'm too busy having fun in Maurice's blog. It's full of standard driving, elephant jokes, and lesbian commentary. And that's just one string. In that string, I've suggested that we have a contest for the best lesbian joke (the lesbian equivalent of an elephant joke). Feel free to post submissions here on the Burning Bush. Oh yeah, there's a prize--yet to be determined.

Posted by Bush Whacker at May 22, 2003 01:50 PM
Comments

A prize? A fabulous prize?! Woo Hoo! Damn I don't think I know any lesbian jokes. Hmm well there is that one. So is there a deadline for submitting the jokes? Can we submit more than one? Who decides which one is best? So many questions! :-D

Posted by: Stephanie on May 22, 2003 02:50 PM

Q: What does a lesbian bring on a second date? A: A U-Haul

I know, that's an old one...

Posted by: Poupoune on May 22, 2003 03:37 PM

Q: What is the height of confusion?
A: 20 blind lesbians in a fish market. : )


Posted by: Poupoune on May 22, 2003 03:44 PM

Q: What do you call a lesbian with 10 girlfriends?
A: A bush-hog!

*tee hee hee* :D

Posted by: Stephanie on May 22, 2003 04:16 PM

Steph, let me guess. Such a lesbian also wears white suits and sends Roscoe P. Coltrane off to round up the Duke boys so she can have Daisy all to herself?

Posted by: Bush Whacker on May 22, 2003 04:18 PM

OK. I cheated & this isn't really a lesbian joke. But, it made me laugh & I can't post it on my own blog:

Q: What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
A: Toys for Twats

Posted by: kevin on May 22, 2003 04:42 PM

...Such a lesbian also wears white suits and sends Roscoe P. Coltrane off to round up the Duke boys so she can have Daisy all to herself?... hahaha BW! It took me a minute to get that!

I'm recycling a lesbian joke.

Q. How many lesbians can you fit in a volkswagen?
A. None, because it's full of elephants.

Posted by: Stephanie on May 22, 2003 05:47 PM

This isn't a joke so much as a fairytale. I thought of this just now while I was doing the dishes.

There once was a lesbian who lived in a shoe.
She dated so many bushes she didn't know what to do.

She whacked and she whacked.
'Till she thought she would crack.

Then one day she decided it was time to pack.
To keep her sanity she bid them all adieu
and moved to Peru.

Traveling by elephant, of course.

Posted by: Stephanie on May 22, 2003 06:07 PM

LOL! So far, I think this is the way things look:

Kevin's gets to be an honourary lesbian joke while Poupoune and Steph duke it out.

By the way, just so you know, I went looking online for lesbian jokes (just so I could assess the "originality" of the submissions, of course). Here's are a couple I found:

Q: What do you call a bunch of lesbians in the closet?
A: A "licker" cabinet.

Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
A: She kick starts her own vibtrator and rolls her own tampons.

Posted by: Bush Whacker on May 22, 2003 06:54 PM

Looks like we found the same website, Ms. Whacker. (I told you I cheated.)

Posted by: kevin on May 22, 2003 08:23 PM

Q: Why is eating pussy like being in the mafia?
A: One slip of your tongue and you are in deep shit!

Posted by: kevin on May 23, 2003 03:21 AM

Q: what did the vampire lesbian say to the other vampire lesbian?
A: (you must know this one but anyway) See you next month...

Posted by: Poupoune on May 23, 2003 07:49 PM

Q: How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
A: Even the pool table doesn't have balls.

Posted by: David on May 23, 2003 10:20 PM

How is an elephant different from a lesbian?

Lesbians wear flannel. And comfortable shoes?

Boo!!

I think all of the lesbian jokes have already been told! I asked everyone I saw this weekend to tell me lesbian jokes and they just gave me strange looks.

What's the difference between lesbians and straight women?

Lesbians wear flannel and comfortable shoes?

*sigh* Boo!

In lieu of a good, original lesbian joke, here's something funny I saw on a magnet.

"I don't mind straight people as long as they act gay in public." hahaha

Posted by: Stephanie on May 26, 2003 10:15 PM

Okay: for those of you still following this thread, I think we need to set a deadline for jokes submissions. How about by the end of tomorrow, May 28? I'll announce the winners the next day. Stay tuned....if you have more jokes, now's the time to type 'em in!

Posted by: Bush Whacker on May 27, 2003 10:35 PM

Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
A: What do you know, we really DO taste like chicken!

Posted by: kevin on May 29, 2003 07:25 PM

If it's not to late I have another joke. I think this one is original too. But it's kind of gross. I probably shouldn't even tell it. Okay, here goes.

Q. How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?

A. Instead of KY she insists on using WD40!

Eeeewwwww!

Posted by: Stephanie on June 1, 2003 03:30 PM
Post a comment